How Can Astrology Help Me? Using Astrology for Self Discovery, Relationships, and Personal Growth

You don’t need to study astrology for a decade to start using it in a meaningful way. Even knowing just a few key placements can give you insight into your daily life, your relationships, and the patterns that keep showing up.

Why Should You Read This Post? - How Can Astrology Help Me?

Use astrology as a practical tool for self-awareness so you can reflect on your patterns, strengths, and blind spots without feeling overwhelmed by complex interpretations.
Make better decisions by understanding your personal cycles so you can recognize the natural ebbs and flows of your energy, opportunities, and challenges—helping you take aligned action instead of pushing against resistance. (Want to learn more? Check out Astrology Transits for Beginners.).
Stop feeling overwhelmed by astrology and start using it effectively so you can gain valuable insights without needing to study it for years.
Recognize when working with an astrologer can give you clarity so you can go beyond self-reflection and finally put all the pieces together with expert guidance.

a woman with a tight bun and manicure looks toward her right side in front of the exterior side of a peep-hole in a door.

Most people find astrology 1 of 2 ways:

1. The Skeptical Start

They originally seek out “what is astrology/why do people believe astrology” as a skeptic because “How can we all be divided into only 12 personality types?”

This is how I found astrology in 2010. I learned that it is NOT just dividing people into 12 personality types unlike some other “personality division” systems such as Myers Briggs which divides people into 1 of 16 categories (I’m an ENTP).

I’ve been known as a smart kid, smart ass, smart mouth, and my Hogwarts house is certainly Ravenclaw -- so, yes, astrology surprised me as being a lot more technical and a lot less intuitive than most people think.

2. Seeking Answers in Difficult Times

Other people turn to astrology during a really tough time in their lives. They’re stuck in recurring patterns, facing challenges in relationships, or asking, why is this happening to me? Astrology gives them a way to explore the lessons behind these experiences.

That’s what kept me hooked.

How Does Astrology Work?

Let’s break it down.

First, you don’t have to believe in fate or destiny to use astrology. It’s not about saying your choices are “written in the stars.” Instead, astrology gives us tools for self-reflection and understanding, helping us figure out what’s working in our lives and what’s not and why.

Heres’ a crash course on how astrology can help the every day person who knows nothing about astrology –

Time has a quality and is not just a measurement or quantity.

Just as lemon juice is not just wet - but sour, acidic, and heavier than iced tea. It has a qualities that you can't see, you can only experience. Time is similar. There is a complexity that gets added as we go up in the dimensions. 2D is a flat image of a car, like a photograph

3D takes up space - it adds depth to that same car figure in the drawing - now there are innards to the car, interior, parts and components - a huge increase in complexity!

4D is the ever marching concept of time - it's that figure AND all the components of the car, AND it is the experience of a sunset drive with the vibey tunes humming until it eventually breaks down and begins rusting in a grove on grandpa's property.

The 4th dimension is not simply measuring the amount of days or years - the "time" - between when the car was produced and when it went to grandpa's farm. It is also the experiences we have with the car.

"History never repeats itself, but it does often rhyme." - Mark Twain.

Time can be harmonious or conflict driven, exciting or dull, fertile or brittle, silly or serious, growing or reducing, dreamy or meticulous. That is what astrology measures using planetary geometry. Most astrologers aren't troubling themselves with WHY this works, they just take advantage of it working.

Western Tropical Astrology (as opposed to Indian or Vedic astrology or other indigenous cultural astrologies) is based on the seasons and is archetypally predictive in that there is certain qualities of time and each moment that something happens (like a birth) is a promise to carry out qualities of that archetypal nature.

So What Can You Get Out of Learning Just A Little Astrology?

Here’s what you can get out of astrology—without memorizing your whole chart:

Fewer “WTF” Moments in Life → When you understand your Moon & Mercury, you stop wondering “Why do I always react this way?” and start working with your natural tendencies.
Better Timing for Big Decisions → Checking Mercury Retrograde or understanding your personal transits helps you make choices with confidence instead of walking into chaos.
More Clarity in Relationships → A simple look at your Venus & Mars (and your partners!) tells you more about your love life than 10 self-help books.
A Framework for Growth → Saturn isn’t here to ruin your life—it’s here to show you where you need structure. Knowing this can help you navigate challenges instead of feeling blindsided by them.

📌 Bottom Line: Even knowing just a little bit about your chart can shift your perspective, reduce stress (and stress is a killer!) , and help you make choices that actually fit YOU.

Astrology Consultations: What to Expect

There’s a difference between learning just enough astrology to help yourself—and knowing how to put all the pieces together. That’s where an astrologer comes in.

Consultations aren’t one-size-fits-all. Astrology Consultations (oftentimes called “readings”) can go a few ways depending on the astrologer you hire, and the outcome you’re looking for.

Here’s when paying an astrologer makes sense:

You’re facing a major life transition (career change, breakup, Saturn return, etc.) and need real guidance, not just Google searches.
You want to go deeper than just “Sun, Moon, Rising.” An astrologer can show you how your placements interact and what patterns are shaping your life.
You feel stuck or overwhelmed. If you’ve read all the astrology blogs but still don’t know what to do next, a live session will cut through the noise and give you clarity.

Exploring Your Personality

You’re looking to understand your own personality better – This type of astrology consultation will focus on the interaction of personal planets with the rest of your chart that can help explain your experience of your life and how you communicate your ideas to others.

Sun: Your core self—what drives you and what might be undervalued in your life.
Moon: Your emotions and relationships—how you connect with others and what makes you feel secure. Understanding this can help uncover a TON of relationship and communication dynamics.
Mercury: Your communication style—why you may feel misunderstood and how to express yourself more clearly.

Understanding Relationships

Venus: How you give and receive love—your personal love language.
Mars: How you handle conflict and passion—what sparks your fire (in all ways).
Moon: reread above; the Moon also has a lot to do with communications and receiving love but more from a feeling safe and connected to our family and loved ones type of way – this is also representative of the dynamics between you and your mother or the more nurturing parent.

Navigating Career and Finances

Saturn: The planet of hard work and discipline—where you need to build structure.
MC (Midheaven): Your public reputation—what you want to be known for and the impact you want to make on the world.
2H/6H/10H: Your money, values, and daily routines—what supports your career.

Navigating Timing - Unpacking Recurring Challenges with Astrology

Perhaps you’re already a bit familiar with your personal astrology or you’ve had other readings and are now looking to understand the timing of your life as processes (like the evolution of your career, or your maturation process) unfold.

Astrology helps connect the dots between different areas of life. For example, if Mars (conflict) and the Moon (emotions) are clashing in your chart, you might struggle with trust or direct communication.

Astrology for Growth: A Personal Example

For example: My chart has a Scorpio Moon conjunct Pluto in the 11th house trine Mars in Cancer conjunct Chiron in the 7th. Translation? I have trust issues.

I have a hard time trusting that people aren’t going to leave me after they get from me what they want and that they are here for the long term. I’m suspicious, I’m strategic, and I have learned to be manipulative to try and avoid these outcomes – (just trying to be honest here, folks).

SO: I have learned that I need to reassess the intentions that I have. I fooled myself for the longest time into believing that my intentions were good, and pure, but really my intentions in relationship interactions were to keep a mental tally of how many good things I did for you, to make it feel like you could never leave me. That's manipulative, and not unconditional.

Now I know. (Does this resonate for you too? Check out the book The Courage to Be Disliked)

The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

Astrology showed me those patterns, but here’s the thing—it doesn’t excuse bad behavior. Check out the post Stop Self-Sabotage Now: Using Astrology to Break Harmful Patterns for more on this! It’s like seeing a river eroding the landscape of your psyche. You can’t stop the flow, but you can redirect it.

This work is ongoing for me. I’ve spent the last year in near isolation, reflecting on the ways I’ve hurt others, how I’ve been manipulative, and how my fears have kept me from trusting anyone—including myself.

I'm not a bad person. I'm a loving, nurturing person—I'm just also working through fear and confusion surrounding close relationships.

The Long Journey of Integration - How to Use Astrology for Self Reflection

The thing about astrology is that it takes something nebulous—like ‘abandonment’ and it makes it clearer, like tuning the lens on a camera to bring things into focus.

Astrology is similar to psychotherapy—it takes time to process and integrate what you learn. While you can make progress without astrology, using your chart can accelerate your journey and highlight areas where you can focus your efforts.

I’ve known some of these components to my personality for years, and I’m still working on the triggers. Imagine if I didn't know what I know how much longer it might take me to work on these marks, and how many more people I might lose before I even understood what was happening.

Check out this post to learn more about my astrological journaling prompts to make this step more actionable for your life.

Once you start seeing the patterns astrology reveals, it’s natural to want to go deeper. That’s where understanding how your full chart works together and becomes activated through transit - thats when it becomes even more valuable.

Timing Matters: Understanding Your Personal Cycles

Astrology isn’t just about personality—it’s about timing. You’ve probably had moments where everything felt easy and aligned, and others where no matter how hard you pushed, nothing moved. That’s because life moves in cycles, and astrology helps you recognize them.

🎯 Examples of Personal Cycles at Work:

Saturn transits show when you need structure vs. when it’s time to push past limitations. - Check out this post for more on the Saturn Cycle.
Jupiter transits highlight periods of expansion, opportunity, and personal growth.
Mercury Retrograde isn’t just a nuisance—it’s a time for reviewing, refining, and adjusting. Check out this post for more about Mercury Retrograde.

When you understand your personal astrology cycles, you stop forcing things when the timing isn’t right—and you lean in when the universe is opening doors for you. That’s how you align with your natural rhythm instead of constantly fighting against it. See this post for a beginner friendly primer on Transits!

Clarifying the Difference Between DIY Astrology & Working with an Astrologer

Astrology is an incredible tool for self-reflection, but there’s a big difference between learning about your chart on your own and working with an astrologer to truly put the pieces together.

Many people start by researching their Sun, Moon, and Rising signs or trying to interpret different placements—but without the full picture, it can feel like having puzzle pieces without the finished image.

This is where working with an astrologer changes everything.

✨ "I had my birth chart read by Shanae—she was amazing with explaining the little details in my chart and how all of the house, planet, and sign placements work together. Everything she said fit like puzzle pieces in my life. I’m feeling less lost and more empowered after speaking to her… I’ll definitely see her again in the near future with any questions I have." — J.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by all the information out there, or if you’ve read about your placements but still don’t know how they interact, an astrology consultation provides clarity, structure, and real guidance tailored to your personal journey.

✨ "I couldn't believe how spot on my reading was. When you spoke of the way my life was changing and how it was all written in the stars, I felt reassured that I need to 'go with the flow' of life as it was meant to be." — Erika

A consultation isn’t just about learning new information—it’s about integrating what astrology reveals so you can actually use it in your life.

✨ "Thank you so much for the reading! It really gave me some reassurance and even validation about unknown events that happened in my life! You are amazing and extremely knowledgeable. I love the way you explained things to me." — Julia

Curious about how astrology can actually help you?

Whether you’re exploring self-discovery, relationships, or personal growth, understanding your birth chart is the first step.

Brand new to astrology? My Natal Chart Tour gives you a crash course on what your chart reveals and how to start working with it—perfect for beginners who want a quick, clear breakdown.
Ready to go deeper? My 5-Day Mini Course: Setting Aligned Goals That Work for You will show you how to apply astrology practically to align with your personal path.
Want a fully personalized reading? A one-on-one astrology consultation can help you understand your unique strengths, challenges, and life cycles with expert guidance.

➡️ Check out the Natal Chart Tour Here

➡️ Start the Mini Course Here

➡️ Book a Consultation Here

Astrology is more than insight—it’s a tool for real growth and alignment. Let’s explore it together.

Key Takeaways:

Astrology isn’t just about prediction—it’s a tool for deep self-reflection. When used correctly, it helps you understand yourself better and navigate life with more confidence.
You don’t need to know everything about astrology to make it useful. Even knowing just a few key placements can help you work with your natural tendencies and cycles.
Self-reflection is powerful, but there’s a limit to how much you can do alone. Working with an astrologer helps you see the full picture and integrate your chart’s wisdom in a meaningful way. Even astrologers consult with other astrologers!
If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to apply astrology, a consultation can help. Rather than spending years piecing things together, an expert can provide personalized insights that make astrology work for you.