living LOUD

People - mostly people I knew pretty well - often told me I was "too much". Too abrasive. Too opinionated. A bitch.

Not worth dealing with.

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I spent about a decade dulling myself more and more with every blow. Abandonment issues and constantly shushing, or ghosted by entire friend groups -- I tried to fake the reserved Capricorn personality all the time.

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Unless I was drinking. That's how I coped with this identity crisis from 18 - 23. That was a long, miserable 5 years masked as one long party where my shouty bold self could be free - no inhibitions. This story is one of detaching from emotion and reaction and emotional sensationalism. I was misunderstood and mistreated, but that doesn't have to stop me anymore.

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You don't need astrology to be more authentic and love yourself directly, but it takes a long time to figure out what is real and what is conditioning from our parents, teachers, siblings, bosses, rising sign...

 

Truly understanding my chart showed me the potential for an endless combination of perfectly compatible "mirror images" available to me in the form of a willingly loving group of chosen family who were not only perfectly compatible to that part of ME but craved it... and THEY have what we crave.

 

We don't have what they NEED, they have that, we have what they WANT.

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Give the people what they want